Infiltrating the left-wing of the American politics sports league is one of the easiest tricks a Black-American citizen can pull off.
It doesn’t take much effort or genius at all. If you stick to the script, you’ll be on Fake News CNN in no time at all.
Here are the rules:
Remember to always complain (always). Everything wrong in the world is “the white man’s” fault. If you can stick to this talking point then you’re 51.9% of the way to a pundit gig.
Since everything is “the white man’s” fault, you are to provide no solutions for the issues around the globe. You are to make the white man pay for it all!
The best vehicle for this is socialism. If you identify as a socialist or communist then you will be applauded as if your virtue is higher than others.
It doesn’t matter that socialism has destroyed every economy it touched. Emotions are more important than facts! As long as you believe in your heart that you’re doing the right thing for the poor, it doesn’t matter that you’ll destabilize the nation.
After all, you want medicare, welfare, housing etc. for everyone. Even if it means killing small business in the process – which adds more people to the poverty queue.
We’ll make the white man pay for it anyway!
Speaking of white men, there is a particular man that you must hate. Orange man bad!
Every chance you get you should slander President Trump. Even if it’s over something as simple as how he feeds fish. If Trump thinks we should pull out of a war-zone then become pro-war. Always champion the opposite of Trump.
Trump is also your fall back option. When in doubt, blame Trump. Call him racist. Anything to deflect from facts.
Did your favorite rapper put on the MAGA hat? F** him too! Digitally lynch his ass! The MAGA hat is a symbol of hate. We have no proof of that but that’s what our women’s rights email newsletter told us to say.
“Black Lives Matter” should probably be in your social media bio somewhere. Even though it has nothing to do with being black and has everything to do with being a woman or LGBTQ+.
You must affirm the validity of all Baskin Robbins flavors of gender even if it isn’t backed by science. After all, the evil white man invented gender and gender roles. Biology has no place in our society. The white man invented science so science is inherently problematic, homophobic, transphobic, racist, and misogynistic.
If a black man dies at the hands of a black man, ignore it. Nobody cares. It happens too frequently to care. But if a black man is injured or dies at the hands of a white man, then it’s time to break out your marching boots. If you play your cards right, Daddy Soros will send that protest coin to your bank account.
But, if a gay black man dies at the hands of any straight man then you must raise hell and make them feel the wrath of “The Resistance”.
If you find out a straight black male made some off-handed jokes about gay people, no matter how long ago it was, be unforgiving. Lynch him digitally across all social media platforms! Make his life an unlivable hell.
But if an attractive white man says they ever wanted to kill a black man, make excuses for it. After all, it wasn’t targeted toward gays and straight black men are the white people of black people anyway.
Here’s another example. If a black male is sexually assaulted by a powerful “white man” don’t feed it much attention. Instead, wait for black men to chime in on the discussion, then blame black men for the sexual assault.
Remember, if all else fails, it’s either the orange man’s fault or the black man’s fault. Blaming it on the black man works universally because EVERYONE hates straight black men.
Abortion is the death of a child but we can’t tell people that. Instead, let’s spin the argument to blame men again. We’ll say, “Men can’t tell women what to do with their bodies!”
This is perfect because it removes men and their opinions (facts) from the issue altogether. Women are good and men are bad (unless they’re gay or trans).
(Author’s note: The idea of “human rights” stipulates that everyone is entitled to inalienable rights, until they harm others. Technically, abortion is the harming of human life which alienates the unborn’s human rights. If we went by the code, abortion is a violation of “human rights”. To say otherwise is to admit that no individual is born with “God-given” rights but that man is given rights by the state – which puts the state above God)
Planned Parenthood gives us way too much money, resources and support to go against abortion at this point. Ignore the fact that Planned Parenthood was originally called “The Negro Project” which wanted to limit the black population.
If anyone brings up that point or the fact that Margaret Sanger (founder of Planned Parenthood) was affiliated with the KKK, always deflect to the white man. Say it’s a white supremacist talking point. Playing the race card works every time.
Last few points before your orientation is over.
Guns are bad! Although the white man used guns to kill our people in the past, let’s ignore all of that and leave ourselves completely defenseless. Besides, socialism should be protecting us anyway. White men should be protecting us. They should be undoing all the power their ancestors created for them even if it isn’t in their best interest to do so.
Anything black is bad unless it’s black girl magic or black boy joy. So, obviously Black Conservatives are coons with self-hate and internalized white supremacy. Anytime they open their mouths, be ready to silence them.
So what’s our goal? We have no goal! That’s exactly what gives us power. People think we’re heroes on the front lines but in reality we’re getting paid to keep the circus going.
We’re not really trying to alleviate the problems black people face – that’s the white mans’ job to undo his horrible deeds.
All we’re doing is seeking a seat at the white man’s table. You don’t really want your own table. If you had your own table then you wouldn’t be able to blame the white man for your problems. Besides, the white man’s ice is colder than ours.